I performed the wedding of my son, Andrew, over the weekend. It was a great event. It was a celebration of love and it had Andrew’s and Dena’s names written all over it. From the preservice CD mix of great love songs to the recessional of David Cook’s remix of “Happy Together” as the newlyweds ran down the aisle and out the sanctuary, it was full of romance and grace. Sally produced an incredible video that started with Andrew and Dena describing his proposal and then showing pictures and videos from the couple’s childhood and into their courtship and engagement. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. There was a time when Andrew and Dena were prayed over by their parents, grandparents and attendants in two circles of prayer. The couple lit a unity candle and took communion together. I had the opportunity to challenge and encourage them to put Christ in the center of their marriage, to practice grace, and to choose love.
Following the service we partied! We went to the Pavilion at Arrowhead and had an incredible meal and then danced off all the extra calories. They had a beautiful cake and a candy table. Imagine seeing the bride and groom dancing with tootsie pops in their mouths. I think everyone had a great time. The whole weekend was full of romance and love. Those of us in attendance were a bit envious of Andrew and Dena’s relationship. Watching them interact with each other and begin their lives together, one couldn’t help but squeeze the hand of our spouse sitting next to us, or give them a soft kiss while dancing. It was an opportunity for all of us old married couples to recommit and reignite the passion in our marriages as well.
After the wedding night, Andrew and Dena had a couple of days to get ready before they departed for their Honeymoon in Jamaica. Sally and I helped them move into their new home and unpack all their wedding presents. I put together their new vacuum cleaner and a new floor lamp. I was using an old tool box that we had gotten from Andrew’s great-grandfather’s house after we closed up the old house and sold it. I found an old screw driver with an interchangable head, that went from a flat head to a phillips head just by turning it over. I thought I needed to show Andrew how to work it. He made it clear that he wasn’t an idiot and he knew how to use a screw driver. I guess I was just feeling like I have very little time left to teach my son how to be an adult. I’m questioning whether I taught enough. One of my biggest regrets as a dad was not teaching him how to tie a neck tie. Before I took the time to teach him, he had gone online and learned it on the internet. Does he know how to buy a lawn mower? Will he get a Briggs and Stratton engine? Does he know what to do when the house flips a breaker or a fuse blows out? What will he do if the toilet overflows? How about relating to his new wife? Will he be gentle with her? Will he cherish her and make her feel loved and protected? I guess time will tell. I’ve done all I can, which probably wasn’t enough. Now I must sit back and watch him. I can only offer advise when asked, but he doesn’t have to take it.
In the wedding ceremony, I used a quote from an unknown source that said, “Everything that I have let go of has claw marks on it.” I thought it was deep and really hit the nail on the head of how I was feeling. I had heard Anne Lamott quote it last spring and I wrote it down to use in Andrew’s wedding. I wanted to know who originated the quote. Sally thought it was Corrie Ten Boom, the Christian holocaust survivor. I wasn’t so sure, so I went to ask.com to see it they could give the source of that great quote. You’ll never guess who said it! It was Garfield the cat! The life lessons you can learn from a cartoon cat!