This morning as I was leading worship, I got lost. No, I didn’t lose my salvation. And my faith is still intact. But at the end of our worship time together, we went into a simple chorus of “Word of God Speak.” It was basically me and a guitar leading the congregation in a very simple, yet intimate time with God. As I was singing, I closed my eyes in worship. At one point I opened my eyes to look at my monitor to check the next phrase and I couldn’t get a hold of where I was. At that point the slide changed and I was just plain lost. But instead of making up a phrase, or repeating a phrase, I just started making up words. Yeah, I was up there singing jibberish…”blah, di blo blah…”
It kinda killed the moment.
Now I wish I could come up with a great theological illustration, you know, how God used my jibberish to convict the church to speak the Gospel in words that clearly communicate to today’s culture, or maybe how He caused everyone to see tongues of flames floating over my head, but no deal. It was just me and a guitar singing “blah di blo” in front of a few hundred worshipers.
But God did use it to teach me a few things. First, worship is not about me. Just because I’m up onstage, doesn’t mean that everyone is focusing on me. If they are, I’m not doing my job. I need to be directing everyone’s attention to God. My flaws and mistakes are a reminder to me that I don’t want to be the center of attention. He must increase, I must decrease. Second, it’s not just about excellence. When I focus on excellence, I tend to focus on my abilities. I can become prideful of my own creativity or talent. Focusing on excellence causes me to become too driven to impress people. It’s a very slippery slope.
But worship is about God and His willingness and desire to use a bumbling loser to humbly glorify Him and to proclaim that God is worthy of all my praise and all my “blah di blo.”
I am thankful for God’s grace.